RELEE Remembered: Poem by Daralee

Teacher

As I dreamed
it rained all night.
And all morning
in my dream
your umbrella
black as the sky
sheltered me.

Alone now
retracking the puddled
paths we walked,
I search
but you are gone--
leaving my own
reflection in the rain
with your black shadow
behind me.

© 1982 Daralee

Note by the poet about this poem: This poem from early 1980 deals with both the dream world and the waking world. The first half of this poem tells about a dream I had about rain, while in the waking world it was really raining outside. The year I had this dream, I did not take a Creative Writing class with Dr. Lee but the following spring would take a unit of Directed Studies, just before graduating from CSULB. In this dream, Dr. Lee and I were walking in the rain to or from class, sheltered by his black umbrella. Such a scenario never took place in real life, and I don't know if Dr. Lee even had a black umbrella!

The second half of this poem deals with the waking world right after I had that dream. As I walked around campus alone, it was no longer raining but there were puddles everywhere. I retraced the steps we took in the dream, contemplating the dream itself which had left me with a feeling of dread. Perhaps this feeling was due to anxieties I had at that time about graduating and leaving CSULB behind, and entering the real world. Among the people and things I would miss, I knew Dr. Lee, his Creative Writing classes, and my visits to his office in the HOB would be among them. I felt compelled to write a poem about that dream, but never felt satisfied with my results, so revised the poem in 1982. Still not quite satisfied with the poem, I held on to it nonetheless, hoping to finish working on it someday. After Richard's death, the poem took on a new meaning for me. In the passing of 20 years now, I realize this piece is finally finished.